My intuition was sharper than ever, but I didn't understand why! My 6th sense was opening up & I didn't know how, I just went along with it all. My overwhelming grief for my mum was all I knew and all I felt. I actually thought I was nuts, losing my 'shit', as my kids would say. I could smell her perfume, I could feel her presence, I would watch Alana playing and she would call her name as if she was right there with her.
All of this should have made me happy that she was still around, still with me.... however all I felt was sadness and anger... all because I didn't have her physically with ME!!!!!! I wanted her here, in front of ME!!!! ME!!! Not once did I think of all these signs I was getting as a blessing. I chose to see everything from a negative perspective, a selfish perspective.
Instead of smiling while I watched Alana play with her Nanny (my mum) I chose to cry!!! Instead of smiling when I smelt her perfume, I chose to be angry!!! Instead of smiling when I sensed her near me, I chose to shut down and retreat.
We always have a choice in which way to react. We choose how we think, how we create, how we are going to react at every given moment. Our thoughts create our experiences, on a second-to-second, minute-to-minute, hour-to-hour, day-to-day & so on basis... So please choose your thoughts with love and compassion and you'll never have a bad day!
All I’m saying is to be present, enjoy and cherish every moment, as tomorrow is never promised. They say we are all spiritual beings having a human experience... Well my spirit sure took a beating by my nasty human brain back then, but lucky for me, my spirit knew better!!! My mum knew better, there's more to life than just being human....
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