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After this profound visit from Mum, I knew that I had some sort of gift. I still didn't understand what it was. My only problem was , that I didn't have confidence, would I be taken seriously... how would this impact my relationships .... was I going to be labelled a "nutter"???? So I let it go for a very long time.... But they (the angels, my mum, my guides) didn't let up...
My next big visit from mum was when I was about to give birth to my baby Tarah.... one night close to my due date I had a melt down & it was a good one too.... I was so scared to give birth again as my first experience was horrific... 19 hours of labour... then prepared for cesarean but told no because Alana had moved too far down the birth canal... then I was strapped to the bed and in stirrups...(sorry about the lovely picture I'm painting!!!) The doctor got out the forceps and literally yanked her out of me. Joe & the mid wife had to hold the bedhead back as he pulled her!!!!! She came out with a cone head & screaming. They had to take her to the special care nursery to keep an eye on her. We were beside ourselves, I didn't even get to hold her, Joe had a short nurse of her and then she gone!!!!
So now I was approaching giving birth again.... what was I thinking really, mum wasn't around, there was so much war in the world at the time, holy crap.... what the hell was going to happen this time.... will my baby be OK... I was worst my own worst enemy. At some point I fell asleep feeling so exhausted with everything I was thinking about... the worst of the worst!!!
I woke to someone holding my hand ever so gently. And there she was, Mum glowing as usual. She told me that this birth was going to be so different to the first and everything would be ok, to stop worrying about everything & that she would be right there with me.... with that an overwhelming sense of love, calm and peace washed over me as she drifted back up through the tunnel of light smiling down on me.... When I got up the next morning it was like a weight had lifted of my shoulders, I didn't have to worry about anything, I truly believed in what my mum had said. Now I was feeling ready to go in the knowledge that mum would be right there beside me.... ohh & so was Joe, hehe.
Three days later, contractions started early morning but I wasn't convinced. Joe got up for work and was just about to leave when the contractions started to really pickup ...5 minutes apart... oops left it too long to say anything. Everything was prepared... I'd rung the hospital earlier and they were happy for me to wait until the 5 minute mark... Alana was already taken care of, we just needed to drop her off. I was so calm because I knew all would turn out well. But on the way to the hospital it suddenly dawned on me that we didn't have a boys name picked out! Ahhhh!!! Mum always said that she'd hoped that I or my sister would have boy. Every bone in my body screamed girl right from the word go.... & yes it was, baby Tarah was born, I didn't need a boys name, thank god..... She just slipped straight out, no complications at all... I felt amazing, I even asked if I could go home... The doctor thought I was nuts, he just said have a rest and we will see in the morning. I only spent 2 nights in hospital and I was out of there.
Our loved ones are always around, guiding us through whatever it is we need. We just need to be open & ask.... Knowing this brought me such comfort and peace, our relationship just shifted... From physical to spiritual... Forever linked by love.... This link can never be broken...
My next big visit from mum was when I was about to give birth to my baby Tarah.... one night close to my due date I had a melt down & it was a good one too.... I was so scared to give birth again as my first experience was horrific... 19 hours of labour... then prepared for cesarean but told no because Alana had moved too far down the birth canal... then I was strapped to the bed and in stirrups...(sorry about the lovely picture I'm painting!!!) The doctor got out the forceps and literally yanked her out of me. Joe & the mid wife had to hold the bedhead back as he pulled her!!!!! She came out with a cone head & screaming. They had to take her to the special care nursery to keep an eye on her. We were beside ourselves, I didn't even get to hold her, Joe had a short nurse of her and then she gone!!!!
So now I was approaching giving birth again.... what was I thinking really, mum wasn't around, there was so much war in the world at the time, holy crap.... what the hell was going to happen this time.... will my baby be OK... I was worst my own worst enemy. At some point I fell asleep feeling so exhausted with everything I was thinking about... the worst of the worst!!!
I woke to someone holding my hand ever so gently. And there she was, Mum glowing as usual. She told me that this birth was going to be so different to the first and everything would be ok, to stop worrying about everything & that she would be right there with me.... with that an overwhelming sense of love, calm and peace washed over me as she drifted back up through the tunnel of light smiling down on me.... When I got up the next morning it was like a weight had lifted of my shoulders, I didn't have to worry about anything, I truly believed in what my mum had said. Now I was feeling ready to go in the knowledge that mum would be right there beside me.... ohh & so was Joe, hehe.
Three days later, contractions started early morning but I wasn't convinced. Joe got up for work and was just about to leave when the contractions started to really pickup ...5 minutes apart... oops left it too long to say anything. Everything was prepared... I'd rung the hospital earlier and they were happy for me to wait until the 5 minute mark... Alana was already taken care of, we just needed to drop her off. I was so calm because I knew all would turn out well. But on the way to the hospital it suddenly dawned on me that we didn't have a boys name picked out! Ahhhh!!! Mum always said that she'd hoped that I or my sister would have boy. Every bone in my body screamed girl right from the word go.... & yes it was, baby Tarah was born, I didn't need a boys name, thank god..... She just slipped straight out, no complications at all... I felt amazing, I even asked if I could go home... The doctor thought I was nuts, he just said have a rest and we will see in the morning. I only spent 2 nights in hospital and I was out of there.
Our loved ones are always around, guiding us through whatever it is we need. We just need to be open & ask.... Knowing this brought me such comfort and peace, our relationship just shifted... From physical to spiritual... Forever linked by love.... This link can never be broken...
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