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Life is so much easier when you trust your intuition, and trust that no one is ever gone. This was the start of using that inner knowing and making the changes that I needed to make. No more waiting for the right time, questioning everything like finances, will the girls be ok with our decisions, etc, etc, etc…..

The first thing we did was buy the block of land that we had our eye on in the beautiful coastal town of Torquay. This is where I always wanted to live but kept putting it off, and like most people do, kept saying “that will be my dream one day”, one day I’ll get there….

Things can change at a drop of a hat and I was no longer going to wait or put things off, I was charging ahead….

Now that we had our perfect block, we needed to sell our house.

It wasn’t a great time for selling and our real estate agent said we wouldn’t get our asking price. I of course didn’t agree. Within a few weeks we had an offer and were advised to take it… Ahhh No!!!! I was sticking with my price, as my intuition was strong and clear. The next week we got the price we wanted. When things are meant to be they just are, and everything starts to move at such an amazing pace… We were on the right track. Everything came easily and everything fell into place… Don’t get me wrong we did have a few hiccups along the way while building our dream house but nothing major. The design of our house was made for the two girls down stairs and our retreat upstairs….

Ohhh so we thought, the universe had other plans! There was still one more piece of the our puzzle that was missing…

As we finished our build and the girls settled nicely into a new school and made new friends my husband said… “We should have another baby to bless our house”. My response was quite quick… “Are you F…..en mad, no way”…. And any way, the way we designed our house really didn’t have room for another baby… also why  would we go down that road again when the girls were 11 & 5 years of age and life was so much easier… I’d be nuts to do it again…

Shortly after this declaration by my husband, I dreamt that I was hanging out clothes and there was a little boy running around in the long grass out the back with my husband chasing him, they were having so much fun… I told my husband about the dream and he just laughed and said never say never.

As I’ve said many times before the universe will make things happen when it’s for your highest good….

So yep, somehow I fell pregnant!!! Number three was on its way…. I knew it was a boy because of the dream I’d had. My husband didn’t want to hear it; he said he would believe it when he saw it…. We had all the scans & at our last one I asked if they could tell us if it was boy or girl… The nurse said clearly ‘it’s a boy’… but my husband still didn’t believe it. My mum always said that she would love to see me have a boy… Well it was happening, I was having a boy…. OMG…. This pregnancy went so smoothly; I knew I was once again being looked after from above. My due date was the 12th August 1998, but I went 3 days over and Joseph Michael Fopiani was born on the 15th August 1998. My husband was so overjoyed, he still couldn’t believe it, it was an amazing moment. I wasn’t prepared for what happened next… a close friend of the family came to visit us and said…. ‘ “How wonderful for Joseph to be born on your mothers Saint Day”….. My mouth just dropped open… You see my mum is from Spain where your saint name day is celebrated more than the your birth day!!! I just cried, happy tears as this was a miracle for me. Putting beyond reasonable doubt that she was right there, and she would always be there, for my children and me…. Forever, to the moon, to the stars and back….

Love you Mum, and thankyou for my gifts….

When its meant to be it just is… grab life with both hands and live it to it’s fullest…. The universe has your back….. remember to smile :)

After this profound visit from Mum, I knew that I had some sort of gift. I still didn't understand what it was.  My only problem was , that I didn't have confidence, would I be taken seriously... how would this impact my relationships  .... was I going to be labelled a "nutter"???? So I let it go for a very long time.... But they (the angels, my mum, my guides) didn't let up...

My next big visit from mum was when I was about to give birth to my baby Tarah.... one night close to my due date I had a melt down & it was a good one too.... I was so scared to give birth again as my first experience  was horrific... 19 hours of labour... then prepared for cesarean but told no because Alana had moved too far down the birth canal... then I was strapped to the bed and in stirrups...(sorry about the lovely picture I'm painting!!!) The doctor got out the forceps and literally yanked her out of me. Joe & the mid wife had to hold the bedhead back as he pulled her!!!!! She came out with a cone head & screaming. They had to take her to the special care nursery to keep an eye on her. We were beside ourselves, I didn't even get to hold her, Joe had a short nurse of her and then she gone!!!!

 So now I was approaching giving birth again.... what was I thinking really, mum wasn't around, there was so much war in the world at the time, holy crap.... what the hell was going to happen this time.... will my baby be  OK... I was worst my own worst enemy. At some point I fell asleep feeling so exhausted with everything I was thinking about... the worst of the worst!!!

I woke to someone holding my hand ever so gently. And there she was, Mum glowing as usual. She told me that this birth was going to be so different to the first and everything would be ok, to stop worrying about everything & that she would be right there with me.... with that an overwhelming sense of love, calm and peace washed over me as she drifted back up through the tunnel of light smiling down on me.... When I got up the next morning it was like a weight had lifted of my shoulders, I didn't have to worry about anything, I truly believed in what my mum had said. Now I was feeling ready to go in the knowledge that mum would be right there beside me.... ohh & so was Joe, hehe.

Three days later, contractions started early morning but I wasn't convinced. Joe got up for work and was just about to leave when the contractions started to really pickup ...5 minutes apart... oops left it too long to say anything. Everything was prepared... I'd rung the hospital earlier and they were happy for me to wait until the 5 minute mark... Alana was already taken care of, we just needed to drop her off. I was so calm because I knew all would turn out well. But on the way to the hospital it suddenly dawned on me that we didn't have a boys name picked out! Ahhhh!!! Mum always said that she'd hoped that I or my sister would have boy.  Every bone in my body screamed girl right from the word go.... & yes it was, baby Tarah was born, I didn't need a boys name, thank god..... She just slipped straight out, no complications at all... I felt amazing, I even asked if I could go home... The doctor thought I was nuts, he just said have a rest and we will see in the morning.  I only spent 2 nights in hospital and I was out of there.

Our loved ones are always around, guiding us through whatever it is we need. We just need to be open & ask.... Knowing this brought me such comfort and peace, our relationship just shifted... From physical to spiritual... Forever linked by love.... This link can never be broken...

Life goes on.....
Life goes on.. that's what they say isn't it???  But what I've learnt is that life never ends.... Love never dies... Our treasured loved ones just cross over and are always right by our side. When mum crossed over, I went into auto pilot, just did everything that was necessary. I kept looking around for a sign... All I wanted was a sign that she was still with us..... That's what I truly believed, wanted, but why wasn't I seeing any signs? So frustrating!!! 
I see everyone else that's on the other side, so why couldn't I see her??? This was now personal. I almost felt like I was being tested in some odd way. What I had done was shut down. Remember, I was on auto pilot....I wasn't letting anything or anyone get to me... It was my own doing, no sign would be able to get through while I was feeling like that.
As a family we made all the arrangements for the funeral, that is such a surreal experience, especially as it was something we had never done before. I just went with the flow. I don't remember too much of it other than I was talked out of bringing Alana with me, by a well meaning family member. That I do regret. Also, I didn't want to wear all black as we were told to.... Out of respect for the dead. Or so they say! I chose to wear colour. Black and red and matched it with a beautiful wide rim hat, she loved colour and hats. So out of respect... that's what I did. It didn't go down too well with a few people I can tell you that. And to be honest, I certainly didn't give a shit!!!! lol. But still no sign....
After the funeral we went back to our day to day lives, which was never the same...
About three days after the funeral I was exhausted and went to bed early. Mum appeared in my dream, I was sitting up in my bed with her opposite me talking. She was telling me about how her father was there to take her and that she was not sick anymore, all the cancer was gone, there were no scars and her hair had grown back.... Look she said, its all back... She was beautiful, radiant and happy. I was just in awe of her, she was glowing... After what I thought was a few minutes of talking, she asked me if I wanted to go with her and see where she now was.... That I shouldn't worry so much about her, that she would be there whenever I wanted. Of course I said yes.... She took my hand & we instantly lifted up together, floating up toward the ceiling of my bedroom.... which opened up to this bright light filled tunnel. I looked down to see my bed, with me asleep in it and Joe on the other side, it was amazing! We glided up  through the tunnel towards a brilliant blue sky and then landed in the most spectacular world I've ever seen.... Heaven... The overwhelming sense of unconditional love is what hit me......The peace... I can' begin to describe the feelings.... My heart just instantly filled with love & compassion.... Every colour was just glowing with the most amazing brilliance imaginable .... The people were all dressed in white... Mum took me over to a group of people and introduced me, one of them I had already met before, my grandfather, my mothers father, the one that would sit on the end of my bed when I was little.
We sat together for a while, she really wanted me to see that she was OK and well and that she was always going to be with me, guiding me, all I had to do was ask.
It was time to leave, she took me by the hand and lead me back through the tunnel of brilliant white light, back down through the ceiling and back into my body, I actually could feel myself getting back into my body. She leaned over, gave me a kiss and drifted slowly back up through the tunnel. The last thing I remember is her smile. With that I fell asleep.


Remember to Smile.....

My intuition was sharper than ever, but I didn't understand why! My 6th sense was opening up & I didn't know how, I just went along with it all. My overwhelming grief for my mum was all I knew and all I felt. I actually thought I was nuts, losing my 'shit', as my kids would say. I could smell her perfume, I could feel her presence, I would watch Alana playing and she would call her name as if she was right there with her.

 

All of this should have made me happy that she was still around, still with me.... however all I felt was sadness and anger... all because I didn't have her physically with ME!!!!!! I wanted her here, in front of ME!!!! ME!!! Not once did I think of all these signs I was getting as a blessing. I chose to see everything from a negative perspective, a selfish perspective.

 

Instead of smiling while I watched Alana play with her Nanny (my mum) I chose to cry!!! Instead of smiling when I smelt her perfume, I chose to be angry!!! Instead of smiling when I sensed her near me, I chose to shut down and retreat.

 

We always have a choice in which way to react. We choose how we think, how we create, how we are going to react at every given moment. Our thoughts create our experiences, on a second-to-second, minute-to-minute, hour-to-hour, day-to-day & so on basis... So please choose your thoughts with love and compassion and you'll never have a bad day!

 

All I’m saying is to be present, enjoy and cherish every moment, as tomorrow is never promised. They say we are all spiritual beings having a human experience... Well my spirit sure took a beating by my nasty human brain back then, but lucky for me, my spirit knew better!!! My mum knew better, there's more to life than just being human....

Now you know where it all begun, let's fast forward... 

At the age of twenty I married the man of my dreams, Joe. At the age of twenty-three I had my first beautiful baby, Alana. In between all of that my mother was diagnosed with breast cancer. It was so devastating. The 'C' word had entered my life. It was the kind of ‘C’ word that you would rather never hear in your home. Sadly she passed away at age forty-nine, two months short of her fiftieth. That day would forever change my life!

 I was so angry! I felt anger towards the doctors, anger with her for leaving me and finally anger within myself that I should have been able to do more for her. Angry with the world! How could this happen? I've been left alone, alone with a 3 year old. My daughter was far too young to remember her, what the hell was I going to do? 

I had never cried so much. The pain that I was feeling was so deep, it affected every cell in my body. There were days where I just couldn't breathe. I couldn't see a future for myself because what good would it be? If my mum wasn't there with me, how on earth was I going to continue to foster this family I had started to create? How was I going to cope with bringing up Alana? How would I know if she got chicken pox or if it was just a heat rash? How would I know anything about anything?

I suddenly felt so alone, so abandoned, so…. nothing.
I couldn't even go shopping without having a break down. If I did go, I would watch others shopping with their mums, enjoying a coffee, picking out the right outfit. Or I’d see a grandma with their grandchildren on an outing. It would become so unbearable that I would have to leave & go home. Life had no meaning and I couldn't make sense of anything. 

After all it was all about me!!! Why would God do this to ME? WHY? This is where, at rock bottom, between crying myself to sleep...again,  and waking up each and every day, I began to talk & have visions of my Angel. This angel was no longer a man at the end of my bed, it had became so surreal and familiar, it was my 'Mum'......

My mysterious male figure never came back again. I would wait for him every night but instead of being calm & sleepy, letting it happen, I was nervous & fear would set in. The anticipation was killing me. He never appeared in the same way again. What was the same was the imprint left at the bottom of my bed. He still came & sat at the end of my bed for a very long time. They say we are born with two guides, and they are with us for our whole life. We also may have people that are related to us, who have passed over, looking out for us. My spirit was always familiar to me but I never knew why, I just accepted it, to me it was normal. Our guides and loved ones never want to frighten us, they just want to comfort us, let us know that they are still very much with us. So if you have an encounter of the spirit kind, and don't feel uncomfortable or any fear, just say 'thank you'. But if you do feel any fear, get the hell out of there as quick as you can, they're the nasty ones!! Unless it's a relative that loves to scare the shit out of you, then it can be a little funny, as long as it's not me haha!

I did eventually find out who my night sitter was. My mum brought back some family photos of her and her family in Spain. There was one that caught my eye immediately, it was of her, her dad & sister. As soon as I saw it I knew it was him. Although I'd never met him, I knew that that was my bed sitter. My spirit protector. I knew all was well when he was around.

It's so amazing that as a child you don't question anything, well I never did. My parents were so courageous in what they did, leaving their homeland in search for a better life. Freedom! They lived under a dictatorship 'Franco' in Spain.

Their story was a love story. Well this is how I interpreted it.... Mum was from a well off middle class family and dad was from the wrong side of the tracks. Somehow they fell in love against all odds. They were forbidden to see each but they continued to see each other in secret.

As time went on all I know is that both mums parents died leaving mums sister, herself & three brothers to fend for themselves. Mum was 22 years old at the time & found out she pregnant. She hurriedly married (my father) and took off to the promised land, Australia. She promised her sister that she would come back and get her youngest brother once settled.

This never happened, as the reality of moving to a foreign country hit. They couldn't speak the language and issues began to arise that they never could imagine. Food was an issue, housing was an issue, communication was an issue, how could she call for her brother when life was even tougher than they ever could have imaged... This wasn't the promised land that they were hoping for...

And then they had a baby on the way...ME...

It became an issue of survival!!! I could not imagine doing what they did and the courage it took!!!

How would you feel seeing a dark, mysterious, medium sized ghostly man sitting at the end of your bed, all at the age of 5?

Well... this is how my story begins.

My name is Isabel Fopiani, once Isabel Mayor, and that was where my life took a major turn into the life of a medium. 

I was 5 years old when I first saw a spirit. 5! He would visit every night and always late, say around 10 or 11. As I lie in bed, I could feel the breeze of the door opening, however no door would open. No light shining in, no creak as the door of our tiny 3 bedroom weatherboard home would normally do. Somehow I knew there was someone there. I could see a silhouette, and the outline of a medium sized mysterious man would enter the room. I was never terrified of him nor did I feel uncomfortable. Somehow this silhouette of a nameless man brought me comfort, which in turn helped me sleep. For some reason I always thought this comforting silhouetted man was my father. 

Back in those days my father worked afternoon shift. He worked hard to earn money to feed my 3 siblings, myself and my mum. They were immigrants from Spain and working hard was always their mantra. None-the-less, this man comforted my dreams and helped me sleep easier. Beyond this mysterious man (my dad), every morning after his visit there would always be an imprint left behind of where he sat the night before. 
This chain of events happened for quite a while. I never really noticed nor did I pay attention. This was the norm and this was the routine. One night I decided to stay awake and watch this man who visited me each night. As I sat awake I saw a flash of car headlights coming up the driveway. This is where it occurred to me that this silhouetted mysterious man was not my father. Sitting upright in a rush of both confusion and disbelief to inspect this person a little closer, he was gone before my eyes. Gone! And with that my dad walked in questioning why I was still awake. 
This is where my human side kicked in. That human side which pushes out all possibility of belief and spirituality, as I questioned the events which had occurred.  

"I see dead people" ...


Well, actually, if we really want to go there, I see, hear, feel and smell dead people. Yep, that's right, smell! Flowers, foods, perfumes and shit! Literally!